Things that are good ideas when you're drunk. #1 Buying that $150 round of drinks.

Exactly what is it in alcohol that transforms me from a normal, everyday graduate student to the richest man on the planet? Seriously, I can’t figure this out. I wouldn’t go to McDonalds and order 20 cheeseburgers and just start handing them out but I have no problem going to the bar, buying 10 shots and divvying them up among total strangers. I actually feel my wallet getting heavier with each drink veritably shouting “Release me from this pocket! Put my plastic contents on the bar and sign away!”. Unfortunately I too often heed this call. It must be something to do with the occurrences that I associate with drinking. I can’t remember the last time I went out to a bar, didn’t get drunk, and had an absolutely wonderful time (BTW: “Wonderful time” is code for “bringing home an attractive woman” but could just as equally mean having a great time with the guys.). I suppose it is a Pavlovian conditioning of sorts. I have come to learn that more shots, more drinking, eventually equals some reward which in turn reinforces the behavior.

Now, don’t take this to mean that I’m a total alcoholic. I drink, at most, one night a week and even then I try to avoid getting too “nice”. I think in my old age I am beginning to appreciate getting up on the weekend and not feeling like someone stuffed my mouth with salt during the night then sat on my head. Does this mean I’m ready for a committed relationship? Probably not. I think it just means that I’m tired of going out here as I no longer find the people interesting enough to sacrifice my morning to nausea and headaches. In any case, I’m going to start leaving my credit cards at home.